Eye..
Hey,
Sigh, so I guess everything is fine for me. I've been feeling very wistful lately. I think it's the x-mas season. I used to love x-mas. Now I'm kinda down. I'm putting positive thoughts in my head and trying to keep myself up. But something in me just isn't right. I'm ultimately feeling guilty. Because i'm jobless and can't support myself or my family. But, I know that's not my responsibility. Well, it is to support myself but not my family.. Right? I dunno, alot has happened financially with my parents and I just want to give them all the money in the world and make them happy. I want them to have everything they've ever wanted and not worry about anything ever again. They work really hard and they should know that I above anyone else am truly thankful for them and all that they do. And all they've given me and give me everyday.
Music doesn't pay my bills right now. And I accepted that when I filled out the "True Destiny" application. I'm trying to keep my head up. I want to avoid them at all costs though. I mean is that wrong? But, they're always so worried about numbers. And it makes me sick. I know numbers are important but that's all. They're important. End of story. Why worry? Worry only attracts worry? I wish I could communicate this with them. But, they won't listen to me. Anytime I make a critique of anything they throw the whole "You're jobless and living here so you have no oppinion." thing in my face. I hate it. And I hate that I've been swallowing down so much. It is tearing me to shreds. I'm not one to take anything sitting down but lately i've been having to do that. Or wanting to for their sake. Just to keep things quiet. And all the quiet is making me feel horrible. There's something wrong. I don't want to feel horrible. Who does? But, I don't have a choice. This is why I avoid them. To keep the negative energy as far away as possible. I'm happier when they're not around when i'm in my own world. I'm the happiest alone. Which makes me sad all the same. Haha, this is a revolving nightmare. It's okay though. I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna get signed to that big label and tour and leave it all behind and give them the money they need and live in LA and cut albums and inspire the world. Inspire everyone on the planet to go for their dreams. No matter what your day job or current situation. To just do it. That's what i'm doing and i'm so happy to know that it's my destiny to be that inspirational. To be the bearer of hope. I wish I could do that for the people in my immediate surroundings but, I guess they're the types who need to see me alongside Stevie Wonder at the Grammys accepting my 5th award on stage to actually feel proud or inspired. I dunno.
In other news and something good, me and Ofi are starting a clothing business together. It will be recycled tees turned runway. Very chic. Very fun. Very comfy. Very affordable. I think it will do well. It's safe to say. Especially seeing that we're both very driven for it to do well and make up some moolah.
As for the EP, I'm not sure on the release yet. I'm still waiting for my drum tracks and word. So it might not be out til like late Jan or Feb at this point. Whatever the case it will get done and released. I'm confident about that.
I'm confident about D as well. He's got good things coming his way and i'm so excited for him. And super obliged to say I know him and knew him before he was famous. Hahaha, cause I know he's gonna be famous. I really think next year is his year. He's gonna be a sure spectacle. I'm just hoping I get tossed a bone or something. Maybe while on his way to the top he passes my EP on to another and things will happen. I promised myself next year would be fantastic and I'm really positive that it will. So far so good. I can smell it.
