Om Mani Padme Hum.

Hey!

So, Omo stayed the night last night and we spent today together. It was a very relaxing day. My parents left for the keys as anticipated. Which gave us proper alone time to bond sister to sister.

This morning we woke up and had breakfast around 10. And, as planned, decided to go out and meditate under the tree. I burned a CD of Tibetan Monks chanting and oriental bells tolling. The weather this morn was phenomenal. We sat under the tree and burned incense while listening to the echoing of monks harmonizing.
I remember sitting and drifting away to Tibet on a dusty cliff somewhere. Then I was underneath a tree of cherry blossoms lying down as the blossoms swam likes schools of fish on the wind currents. When we came out of it Omo tried to teach me "Tree Stance". I'm not very balanced.. physically or emotionally so this wasn't really accomplished. But it was cool trying.
We both layed beneath the trees looking up at the branches and sky. I was most at peace there. Facing the sky with nothing but the ground below. It was a great feeling being that physically close to the earth and then spiritually so very high in the sky far far away.
I realized that when you're in tune to nature and only see growing beauty and life surrounding you, nothing else in the world matters. No problems can even phase you. You can try to dwell on them or think of the severity but in that moment it doesn't matter and nothing hurts. I think I felt true inner peace. While in that frame of mind, I heard something inside me whisper that it was all going to be okay. With that one phrase I heard a million echos that said everything would work out, that I would make my dreams real, that there's nothing to be afraid of and that I should recover from my recent doubt of myself and walk back to the path of me knowing that there is something about me different from the rest. That I am that special one in a million regardless of what I think.
Luckily i chewed back those tears that were welling up and took a deep breath of relief instead. It was a very comforting moment.
Omo quickly grew hungry so we went in after our retreat from the norm, ordered a 'za and watched "Hocus Pocus". After the movie we decided to go for a stroll around the boulevard and down the lane. The afternoon was very hot and dry. Deffo not a good day to wear black. We went into this two story plaza not too far from my house and checked out the second floor German Bistro. Originally omo and I were joking about buying liquor but instead had a delish round of iced coffee served with vanilla ice cream and plenty of whip. It was plenty of bang for the buck and quite pleasant. The bistro was adorable and rather pricey. Well worth it though.
We returned to my house and shortly thereafter Omo left with Gustavo back to their golf course.
I miss having Omo around often. With everything in life, it's all more meaningful and memorable when it's fleeting. I hope we see eachother again soon. And I hope she finds happiness in her new endeavors. I hope I find happiness in my endeavors too. I've been told it's not a waste. That it's worth it. Certainly not from my parents but from Omo and good friends who have more faith in me at times than I do in myself. I wouldn't go on without someone to believe in me. Sometimes it's so hard to motivate yourself when your own flame is flickering out.

I think we all should realize that any road worth traveling down will have bumps along the way.

love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks!

Happy Earth Day

I hope you took time to simply enjoy the earth in all its glory. And also, don't think of today as the only day of the year to do your part to keep our planet healthy... Think of it as a yearly reminder.
=]

This dark little planet is all we have, so don't be lazy! Turn shit off and recycle dammit! =D

Happy Earth Day!

love&sugar,
Sarah Rocks!

"Eye Wish"-List.

Hey,

I wanted to share with someone but you can't really go "Hey!! What's Up.... Yeah, Yeah, that's cool but listen to this:" Ya know? It's just not cricket.

Before I get down to it, I wanted to let you know that my day is going perfect right now. This very moment I am happy. Just here. If I could stay in this moment forever I would. I would deffo wanna have more exciting moments maybe but, I'm currently clear and balanced. Maybe because I cleaned my room and can breathe again. I burned Amber and "Bright Star" incense and put on my "Happy" play list.
I think the incense and clarity of my room has balanced me out. I was feeling sick earlier but now I feel just right. Literally very balanced. The sounds from my play list help though.
There are certain things every human associates with memories, people, places, objects whatever. Fact.
Sometimes when we smell something or taste something we think of a distant memory and get lost in a wonderful moment. Like reliving it all over again at least for that brief second. I think a lot of times the fleeting nature of these wonderful things is what makes us slightly crazy and sad there after. Those sweet tastes and smells are indeed always fleeting. Even if they last for hours, it's never long enough.
This moment is one of those. I can't help but try to hold on. Try not to move. Try not to blink. Try to let it all sink in sooo deep that I won't miss it when it's gone. But I know I will.
The songs on my play list aren't all that special lyrically or musically. But they work in that same memory association way.
My favorite memory is from last year when I went with my sister for a week to West Palm Beach. She was training and I stayed in that lush hotel all day. I stayed downstairs on that beautiful patio all day beneath a clear blue sky the entire week. Listening to the sounds of the pool and posh people talk business on their cell-phones while they ate their lunch with colleagues. I remember sitting there in the warm air at that beautiful patio table under that canvas umbrella just listening to the water of the Greek fountains trickle. Then upstairs to that big comfy room to nap, write, talk to friends, have lunch.... to just relax.
It was so nice. Just enjoying my own company and working on my music. I like to hope that my life will be that way permanently someday. That I can sit in a lush hotel exactly like that one if not better, enjoying the swishing of the palms, trickling of ornate fountains, bright sun, clear blue sky, the warm breeze, fresh air, quiet hum of people, and the soft splashing of the pool surrounded by socialites quietly sunbathing in their own world... maybe add someone serving cold cocktails all day long.
And where would I be among this? Sitting under the umbrella in my sunglasses enjoying an icy Italian soda or cocktail while working. And my work being writing my music. Working on my next greatest hit. Or new material for my sophomore release.
Living like that, writing my music for millions to enjoy, performing huge concerts with a backing band of lively, fun, sweet diverse people, touring and living in the towers where everyday would be set in the lap of luxury is where I want to be.
I think it'd be nice to get another week like that by myself or with one or two friends for my birthday (Which is coming up soon might I add). Buy some groceries to take with me so there'd be no need to buy expensive meals. Just pamper myself/ourselves in the hotel. Catch some sun. And write music. And if my friends are there, we'll spend the days in the sun reminiscing about the old and new and enjoy just being together under the sun, under the palms, in the lap of luxury soaking up the R&R. That's exactly what I want for my birthday and for the rest of my life.

That's where my play list puts me.

That's where I wanna be.

Excuse me while I daydream.

Love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks

Marilyn Le' Roy.

I can't help but mention that I suck at keeping up with my blog.
So, it's been months I see. A lot has happened since December. Christmas was sparse but good all the same. The new year was boring. Only a reminder that I'm still here and that I still sorta suck. Since then I released the EP (Woo!). The only downfall is that no one really wants it. And from there it only gets worse because it's available for free. Yeah, now you know why I think I suck right?
The funniest thing is that I made it available to certain people in particular first and they would say "Oh! Thank you thank you! woo woo woo." I'm thinking they're surely going to download it right? Wrong! Not even being sweeter than a jawbreaker influenced their lazy asses to go download it. The best part was that some of them came back and said "Thanks! I love the EP!" Hahahaha! That really proves a point. That the general public whom you think may care slightly don't give a shit unless you're worth a couple bills.
They would've been all over it had I been remotely famous or BFF's with Marky Mark. It's a sick sad world. I'm okay with that part. I would appreciate some honesty or maybe nothing said at all. I mean really. Like I wouldn't know?
Anyways other than that, I've had alone time (finallyyyy!!) and have written and recorded 5 ( I think?) new songs! I had a creative streak and it was brilliant. I had no idea so much was waiting to be released. I should be channeling my creativity regularly but even in this fairly large house I don't really feel alone unless every one's actually off the premises. I guess I'm much more of a private person than I thought.
I also started writing a book called "Sorry, Babe. You're Not On The Guest List: The Life And Times Of A No-Hit-Wonder". It's a series of memoirs that I started sifting through by recommendation of my good friend. I've put that project on hold though. At least for now.
Up to more recent times, I sent out demo submissions last week for the first time. I'm both excited and nervous. I'm really really hoping someone at least keeps the CD for their own pleasure. The bar is set for some actual positive feedback though. It will take a while and I'm happy wondering. The rejection scares me though. The entire world can tell you you're good but one person can send that tumbling down. I've learned to simply accept it though. Instead of putting myself through hell by holding off and waiting I went right into it and sent them before I changed my mind. Like pulling off a band-aide.
I'm happy to say that I have indeed been feeling better lately. Due to my creative spree mostly. I feel happily satisfied and relieved from getting everything out on to this plane. And as predicted, I'm starting to feel somewhat fatigued from it all. But in a good way. The last few weeks were refreshing.. And enlightening. I discovered how much space and solitude I need to properly create and outlet my music and that I could deffo benefit from living in a monastery for a decade. Maybe I'm the only one with such a hard time getting a grip on reality. Honestly, I don't want to be here. I could live inside my head forever. I don't think there's a place for me on earth unless it's as a star. The only other place I can imagine being happy would be in the heavens burning through the cosmos. So, it's either a star here or a star there.. hmm.
I could always indulge in self-medicating and become just another. But that seems far too painful.
It honestly scares me to think that I might be living in vain. Trying to get to the end of a pipe dream. That terrifies me. And also makes me sad. The more I think the less I believe that I'm special enough to be the one out of the million to make it.
A best friend came to me with her troubles the other day. It seemed to me that she was on the right path, getting ahead, everything was right as rain, and things would end happily. It turns out that she too is scared and lost. She too feels that maybe it's all in vain and that the future is so uncertain it terrifies her too. It suddenly occurred to me that everyone is lost. I'm not the only one anymore and that's somewhat comforting. I felt like the world was passing me by and everything I've been doing the past few years have been nothing but smoke and fog. I guess everyone who follows their dreams feel lost and scared.
Why do you think that is? Is it the uncertainty... or maybe the fear that you won't reach the end of the yellow brick road-- that you'll lose your way at some point and die in the depths of obscurity? I don't know. I don't think anyone knows.
I guess you really have to struggle to get what you want. Besides without struggle, fear, and sadness we wouldn't be able to realize the things that make us happy.
I hope all dreamers, dream weavers, day dream believers, and dream followers make it to the end of their yellow brick roads. I hope it's far easier at the end.

Let me add this:
All flamingos deserve beautiful names.
Just like Marilyn Le'Roy.

Love&sugar,
Sarah Rocks!