He Walked In, His name: Eddie Edge.

Well, Hello again
I've been feeling a little more myself lately. Pretty much ever since my last post. I released the demons. =) Anyways, I told you about the whole stupid scene show thing did I not? Yeah, it sucked. One good thing did come out of it though. The boy. The ultimate boy. The one I've fretted about. The tattoos, piercings and Axl Rose hair. He's a guitarist. He's perfect. His name to heat my love up to a perfect simmer: Eddie Edge.
Tonight I IMed him. Reluctantly. I was scared to talk to him. I have a fear of rejection that I keep in check but sometimes will get the best of me. We talked. He was sweet. So adorably clueless. It was a short converstaion. He left in the middle without a goodbye. Which kind of killed me inside. But, whatever. I got more than expected in the first place.
Sigh, Why do I fall for these drop-dead-stare-boys? It sucks. I wish I was asexual. Ha ha. That would make things so much easier. Or maybe it would make me a sad person..? I dunno. I really want to get close to him. I would love it if he would acknowledge me. I feel so stupid saying all this but atleast i know that no one who knows me will see and tell.
Anyways, I wrote a formal business letter today to Tennman Records. I really really hope I get something back. Not a record contract just because that would be hoping for too much seeing that I haven't even sent a demo yet. But more like a welcome. You know... a welcoming response with open arms. Now, I know very well that the industry is cold but still. I kind of have hope that it's not always like the books and documentaries. I just want something that would make me easy inside and able to send a demo without vomitting during the 2-3 week wait for a response. Ha ha. I know everything will work out for me. Everyday I feel closer.. One step closer to that beautiful pedestool called fame. I just wanna make it. I wanna be envied and loved. I wanna hear people singing my music and wearing my name on their sleeves. I wanna travel to New York on monday, shop in Miami on Wednesday and party at the Oscars in Hollywood on Friday. I don't care about reality anymore. I feel oblivious and like the world is in my control. Which I guess it sort of is. From your own perspective.

I know I've got it.

Whatever "It" is.

I've also got a lonely heart.

Lucky girl.

-Sarah Rocks!