Eye..

Hey,

Sigh, so I guess everything is fine for me. I've been feeling very wistful lately. I think it's the x-mas season. I used to love x-mas. Now I'm kinda down. I'm putting positive thoughts in my head and trying to keep myself up. But something in me just isn't right. I'm ultimately feeling guilty. Because i'm jobless and can't support myself or my family. But, I know that's not my responsibility. Well, it is to support myself but not my family.. Right? I dunno, alot has happened financially with my parents and I just want to give them all the money in the world and make them happy. I want them to have everything they've ever wanted and not worry about anything ever again. They work really hard and they should know that I above anyone else am truly thankful for them and all that they do. And all they've given me and give me everyday.
Music doesn't pay my bills right now. And I accepted that when I filled out the "True Destiny" application. I'm trying to keep my head up. I want to avoid them at all costs though. I mean is that wrong? But, they're always so worried about numbers. And it makes me sick. I know numbers are important but that's all. They're important. End of story. Why worry? Worry only attracts worry? I wish I could communicate this with them. But, they won't listen to me. Anytime I make a critique of anything they throw the whole "You're jobless and living here so you have no oppinion." thing in my face. I hate it. And I hate that I've been swallowing down so much. It is tearing me to shreds. I'm not one to take anything sitting down but lately i've been having to do that. Or wanting to for their sake. Just to keep things quiet. And all the quiet is making me feel horrible. There's something wrong. I don't want to feel horrible. Who does? But, I don't have a choice. This is why I avoid them. To keep the negative energy as far away as possible. I'm happier when they're not around when i'm in my own world. I'm the happiest alone. Which makes me sad all the same. Haha, this is a revolving nightmare. It's okay though. I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna get signed to that big label and tour and leave it all behind and give them the money they need and live in LA and cut albums and inspire the world. Inspire everyone on the planet to go for their dreams. No matter what your day job or current situation. To just do it. That's what i'm doing and i'm so happy to know that it's my destiny to be that inspirational. To be the bearer of hope. I wish I could do that for the people in my immediate surroundings but, I guess they're the types who need to see me alongside Stevie Wonder at the Grammys accepting my 5th award on stage to actually feel proud or inspired. I dunno.
In other news and something good, me and Ofi are starting a clothing business together. It will be recycled tees turned runway. Very chic. Very fun. Very comfy. Very affordable. I think it will do well. It's safe to say. Especially seeing that we're both very driven for it to do well and make up some moolah.
As for the EP, I'm not sure on the release yet. I'm still waiting for my drum tracks and word. So it might not be out til like late Jan or Feb at this point. Whatever the case it will get done and released. I'm confident about that.
I'm confident about D as well. He's got good things coming his way and i'm so excited for him. And super obliged to say I know him and knew him before he was famous. Hahaha, cause I know he's gonna be famous. I really think next year is his year. He's gonna be a sure spectacle. I'm just hoping I get tossed a bone or something. Maybe while on his way to the top he passes my EP on to another and things will happen. I promised myself next year would be fantastic and I'm really positive that it will. So far so good. I can smell it.

Just trying to keep up the facade.

Ya know.

As any heavy-hearted rock star does on the red carpet.

Love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks!

Tsunamis And Numbers.

Hey,

Not a whole lot happening here. Finished the EP. Waiting for my drum tracks to return from down-under. I'm pretty bored right now. Which is no way to be. And it's not just now it's overall. I've been overall bored for months now. Nothing new has come my way. And I haven't found anything new either. So i'm just sorta keeping my mind and eyes open.

So Halloween was a bittle suckish. Not too much happened. Thanksgiving was also lame. My friend over stayed his welcome here because he's homeless. He was not a good house guest. And didn't do anything in return. And for all that, I was the one getting the shit from the rents for it. So that was the last time I think i'll have him over.. If not for a long long while.

I'm just waiting for christmas to roll past. I'm not super excited for it but it does signify the end and begining which is always refreshing.

So lately i've been studying more about numerology. D's numerology report is decent. His expression is an 8. Same as Justin Timberlake's. The 8 pretty much says that it's his birth right to have some dominion over the world. Which JT totally has if you think about it. My numerology is of course scary. 22/4, 3. My lifepath says i'm gonna be some sorta revolutionary shifter. And my expression says i'm meant to be an entertainer. You know what I saw that I thought was very interesting. D's an 8 like JT and i'm a 3 like Britney Spears. Haha... ahem. I really hope i don't end up exactly like that. Like her ya know? It's not all bad though. Iggy Pop is also a 3. So i'm thinking that I really may do something extravagant in the industry. 22, 3 ya know.. Kinda scary. Haha. I certainly hope I live up to the expectations of the divine and earth bound.

Other than that business not too much. Excited for the EP! Woo! I really think and know some huge breakthrough is gonna come from it. Everytime I think about it I get the jumblies in my stomach. Which is nice. =]

Everything is good I guess.

Just very still.

Like the ocean before a tidal wave..

Yeah...

Deffo like the ocean before a tidal wave. =]

Love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks!

It's A New Kinda Feeling

Hey!

Everything here is working really well. My mind is like Bombay traffic right now. I've decided to release an EP. Yeah, it's a big step. It came as a suggestion from D. He said that instead of a lame demo why not impress the suits and throw an EP in their face. Apparently it's a lot more impressive and professional. Which, after a lot of thinking I made the decision to go for it.

As soon as I did everything just sort of crashed into place.

I found a cheap alternative to regular CD Packaging, Found a great drummer from overseas who just pretty much fell into my lap at the right time, found someone who wants to refer me to their music biz pals and have now found the proper funds to throw it all together.

The best part about it all is that I found my ultimate fan base. I didn't realize how lovely Distiller/ Brody Dalle fans are. They're really digging my music. Like on a monumental level. I've received the most support from them in the time span of perhaps a week. And that... well that was and still is sincerely amazing. I love them so much.

With that said I decided to launch my T-shirts. Before I had a problem because my friend said they did it in bulk only but this time because she had no current projects she could just do them order by order.

I'm not making any coin. And that's okay with me. I am just sooo flurried to see my logo across the soul-holes of people from all necks of the woods. =]

I launched a few days ago and I guess already have had two orders come in. Including someone who bought two! =] It's seriously incredible. I'm so excited. I feel so humbled. It's just a great feeling having someone like your craft and what you do to the extent of wanting to represent you and wear something that shows pride and faith in you. =]

With that said, tonight I got a sweet comment. And lately I've gotten so many sweet ones but this one really pulled at the old ticker threads.

A girl told me (these are her words!) that she was happy to finally see a girl who can play like the gods. And that she wants to learn bass and that she now considers me to be her role model.

I just crooned when I saw that. She also included that she loved my singing. =]

As if the sugar couldn't get sweeter.

I've never felt so humbled. I just feel so proud of myself for impacting someone to that degree. It makes me swell with warm sloshy tears just thinking about it. =] It's such a reassuring thing. I feel accomplished and just wanna hug her! I am so proud of that girl for taking up bass. Any girl for doing that is strong. And I'm so glad I could help bring that out in her. =]

Sigh, I'm pretty happy.. yet I feel like I'm stumbling onto something big.

Bigger than me and maybe a foreshadow into my future.

I certainly hope it stays this way..

All's well that ends well I assume.

..Yeah.. =]

Love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks!

Happily Fatigued.

So the past few days have been on the rougher side of things.

First off our power was out for close to 24 hours on thursday-friday. It fucking sucked. I reside in Florida which makes that all the more worse. Hello? It's not called the "sunshine state" for nothing. Which also made that situation worse was that we also had no water. Yeah, I live in the jungle and don't have city water. The well water system won't work without electric. So, I'll just let you be the judge of how shit-tastic that day was.

My parents left Friday with mi tia to Tennessee and the Carolinas. Woo. Haha. They'll have fun i'm sure. They always do. So they'll be gone until wednesday I believe. Which gives me some peace and quiet... sort of. Well, some less hostile time with the munchkin at least. Haha.

So everything was good leading up to last night. I went along to The Olive Garden for dinner and then home. I cracked open a hard lemonade and proceeded to blast the haunting tunes of Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson, and the lovely Bessie Smith. All in that order. I knew folk blues was a more moody genre and the grand-daddy of rock n' roll but, I didn't realize how literal the "blues" term actual is until last night.

I was enjoying the sweet raw lo-fi sound and the wailing voices and then I just sunk into a depression.

I completely saturated my senses enough to actually give myself the blues. Hahaha! It was great and intense. Folk blues is truly a beautiful thing. I'm glad I let myself duelve into it.

Trying to get back to my roots ya know? =]

So while sipping on my hard lemon-odd, I called a friend and we talked until 5.36. He too is a musician and I totally admire him for making great music. He's been doing it for a while and it may finally pay off very soon. I'm totally stoked for him. So, he gave me advice and we talked about demos and albums.

You know... the best thing about him is that he says things I always questioned myself were right. And that makes me all the more reassured in the world.

So in a fun-size wrapper,

I feel right as rain.

Well...

Yeah I guess.. haha..

;D

Love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks!

The Secret, I Was Kidnapped And Other Tales From A No-Hit Wonder.

Hey you,

So, my last post was in may...... Hahaha, I'm so shitty at keeping up with a blog. I couldn't do it for the life of me. Anyways! My vacay was fabu. I worked on material stayed at a very luxury-ridden hotel in Palm Beach Gardens and blew all my cash. Yeah, Shit happens. Not to mention I received a to-die-for second degree sunburn from Miss Mother N. Ature. It was worth it though because I was so evenly tanned after the blisters went away... Haha, I know it's gross but hey, beauty is pain, right? Right!

I've been planning on updating this at some point and finally I'm doing it... several months later. Music has been treating me well. It's still the high to my kite. I've written some new stuff, done a few covers and still remain empty handed. In a good way... well, not good exactly but in a I'm-so-used-to-it-that-it's-OK-until-I-bottom-out sort of way.

And everyone here is pushing me to go school. "With what money, man?!" is my reply. Schools nowhere for me. Interior design is what they're saying. Pfft. I have no attention span for that shiz. So, I remain here moneyless and thankless. Well not so much anymore really.

Sometimes I look at my life and think man, what a downer. But on a positive tip, I'm fairly happy. Everyone thinks my life is suckish and it is.. It can be.. But, I look on the bright side and see many things coming.

I'd probably be complaining by now, but I'm done. It's only held anyone back.

And if you haven't noticed yeah, I did read "The Secret" again, only this time all the way through. Hahaha.

That book is so helpful, and it's made things in my life a lot better. I highly recommend it. But only read it if you are entirely open minded or else it won't do anything for you. And you'll probably end up criticizing it.

Other than that jazz, nothing much here.

Happy, Healthy, Loving, Loathing.

The usual.

=]

Love&sugar,

Sarah Rocks!